Prayer of a Hopeful Agnostic

Published in Social Anarchism #22, 1996

Give me a yellow god, not gold
but daisy center bright.
Allow me to forego weapons
unbuckle the Bible belt
and disarm prophets of magic.
Could I accumulate a few
ethical conquests
instead of joining the forces
of world dogmanation?

I'm a charitable critic
not selling evolution
in fact, espousing only
minimal fiddling with genes.
I have no wicked companions
and am willing to stop haunting
trees in pursuit of redemption.
I too am waiting
for the incoming light
waiting for the intelligence
of childhood to provide answer.

I don't read the body of work
which includes collected regret
or encyclopedias of evil.
With religious discipline
I have studied familiar angels
and strange saints
the limits of enmity
deaths of heroes
sumptuous deaths
passionate deaths
have experimented with
the crucible of loss
instant kisses
and tribulation in an old hotel.
I am stranded and thinking
having been bound over to trees
and alien in Alabama
with no guardian goat to rescue me
no icon at the gate
no pig from the sky
no cat from the sea
no glimpse of valor.

Give me a yellow labyrinth
a tenth dimension
a parallel universe
a time warp
and hyperspace.

Give me that rib missing from Adam
and I will douse for direction
write my own book of Certainities
and brush against divinity
like a child nuzzles
its first buttercup
and comes away sun dusted
and laughing.


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